The PokerListings Daily 3-Bet is a quick handshake, a long walk to the Rio parking lot and a bittersweet tune on the world’s tiniest afternoon poker news violin.

Got a tip for a future 3-Bet? Drop a note in the comments below and we’ll take a look.

Today in the 3-Bet we find 2005 WSOP Main Event champ Joe Hachem furious over potential online poker fallout in the upcoming Australian election, Phil Ivey becoming a teetotaler and Carter Gill’s WSOP bustout face about to become one of the most talked about poker memes ever.

1) Hachem on Aussie Poker Policy: “A Disgrace”

We’re far from experts on Australian politics but if this helpful article on PokerAsiaPacific.com covers the basics it sounds like Aussie poker players are in for some rough going very shortly.

Online poker has technically been “illegal” since the passing of the Interactive Gaming Act in 2001 but in practice, writer Tim Napper says, the powers that be have turned a blind eye to it.

That’s apparently about to change with the upcoming election as the front-running Liberal party has effectively stated it will shut off online poker. Leader Tony Abbott has even gone so far as to say:

“…every smartphone is a poker game and that’s just not on as far as the Coalition is concerned. It is a dark cave into which people can so easily retreat and there they are beyond help.”

Which is, of course, hyperbole, of the highest order. Joe Hachem certainly doesn’t like it much, either:

The article I just re tweeted is a must read for all Australian poker players. What a disgrace, how can our government throw poker in with..— Joe Hachem (@JosephHachem) August 28, 2013

…poker machines? How can the liberals glaze over the fact that slot/poker machines contribute to 80% of gambling probs I’m Aus and..— Joe Hachem (@JosephHachem) August 28, 2013

Poker contributes hardly any? How about stopping all the horse punters from blowing their wages every week? How about banning all those…— Joe Hachem (@JosephHachem) August 28, 2013

..ridiculous tv sports bet adds? That’s where all the damage is coming from. I’m friggin fuming atm. I HATE ignorance in any form but esp…— Joe Hachem (@JosephHachem) August 28, 2013

..when coming from people in political power— Joe Hachem (@JosephHachem) August 28, 2013

2) Ivey Dries Out for (We Assume) Massive Prop Bet

Big no drinking bet starts today….my last sip http://t.co/zoidOLg7bG pic.twitter.com/VHDMHxDJ4v— Phil Ivey (@philivey) August 28, 2013

So when Phil Ivey says he has a “big” bet going how much has to be on the table? Seven figures? Eight figures? Nine?

We’re only speculating of course but given Ivey’s penchant for seven-figure craps binges we’ve got to assume this creeps up into the $5m mark at least. Maybe $10m? $20m?

How long and how much is obv. a critical factor in Ivey’s chances but there’s at least one fellow gambler who doesn’t have much hope for him:

Hey @philivey if u couldn’t go without chicken how are u gonna pull off no alcohol? #wantmoreaction?— Tom Dwan (@TomDwan) August 28, 2013

Something tells us Ivey knows what he’s doing with this one though. We’ll keep an eye out for more details.

3) Carter Gill Sad Face GIF About to Sweep Internet

You think you’ve taken a tough beat before? Watch this clip of Carter Gill’s WSOP dreams wiped off of his face in last night’s ME episode on ESPN:

(Also note November Niner Jay Farber on Gill’s left do a masterful job of keeping a straight face).